Looking vs. Lusting

Do you "BW"?

·         Boob Watchin

·         Booty Watchin

·         Bulge Watchin

·         Bicep Watchin

Signs that you maybe a lusting if: (1) If your gaze lingers to long (staring), (2) if you take a double-look it’s safe to stay you’re lusting, and (3) replaying it in your head later. Some men are so disrespectful they didn’t not even trying to be discreet about it when you’re around, make we wonder how bold is he when you are not present? Remember looking is just a casual glance and admiring in a nonsexual way. 

Lusting sometimes happen when: (1) you’re not being sexually intimate for a period of time (it’s easier to have carelessly and inappropriately wandering thoughts), (2) dissatisfaction with you and your marriage, (3) Fantasies about being with other women/men.

  

Many of us raised to believe that lusting is WRONG, in which I agree, but its normal (human nature). You are born with an instinct to be attracted to women/men, and that doesn't disappear magically because you’re married. However, as mature committed adults we have to learn to control/train our thoughts. Men are visual creatures they love looking at beautiful women, but they also have to ability to choose their actions. Equally, women enjoy looking at deliciously handsome men. Although, you are in great relationship/marriage that doesn't mean that you're not going to be attracted to opposite someone of the sex. 

If you are BW'ing", please remember don't be disrespectful, we have all been guilty at one point or another.
  

Facebook etiquette for couples

One of my friends/readers asked if I would blog about facebook etiquette for couples. For the past few months I have been reading several blogger posts about facebook causes divorce.  I personal don’t think that facebook can cause a divorce, but I believe that it can open doors. And since the internet is so convenient, it can make reuniting and rekindling old flames easily accessible. I’m not a member of the facebook phenomenon, but hubby is. Mitch and I have had a few spats about facebook, and what’s unacceptable.

Years ago a friend of mine (who will remain nameless) brought to attention Mitch interaction on facebook with one of his female friends. Mitch comment was “you have beautiful smile”, something that simple can be taken out of context. When you are in a relationship/marriage, you don’t want to give anyone a false impression or demonstrate any disrespect to your spouse.

Here are a few rules to follow:  

·         If you have issues with your spouse address them privately, don’t air dirty laundry on facebook.

·         Facebook status should reflect your relationship.

·          Don’t correspond with past relationships on facebook, it open doors. Are you friends with your Ex on facebook? If so, please use CAUTION

·         If your spouse cheats and/or leaves you don’t announce it on facebook.

·         Don’t flirt with people on facebook in playful or innocent way (there are a number of facebook friends who don’t understand.

·         Let your spouse have full access to your facebook account, besides you have nothing to hide. RIGHT?

·         Limit your time on facebook (What comes first a morning kiss or checking your facebook updates?)

Maybe there should be a contract for couples pledging to follow the facebook etiquette, and if the rules can’t be followed then divorce facebook or your spouse (just kidding).

Just remember, facebook doesn’t cause divorce, but over the years it has become a big contributor. And, think before you post a comment on facebook and ensure it’s respectable to your spouse.

Separate Vacations

Is it ok for your husband/wife to go on an annual trip to Vegas with his/her friends?

Mitch and his buddies take an annual weekend man trip to Vegas EVERY year. Sometimes I seriously have mixed emotions about this “Man Trip”. I mean really….. is it a “Man Trip” or a “Boy Trip” Hmmmmmmmm…….Don’t get me wrong I really support male bonding, I think it’s needed.

My outlook on separate vacations is simple; we are all individuals and sometimes need time away from our reality. Although, you’re married, that doesn’t mean you’re conjoined twins. Besides a weekend with the girls, doing a little retail therapy and spa treatments can be rejuvenating.

Here is my problem with separate vacations or the “Man Trip” when it extends beyond 2 days (Houston we have a problem), Really?!?!?! 2 days should be the max….SORRY. If the image that comes to mind is your spouse at a strip club, club, dancing there a$$ off, being drunk & acting stupid (which is typical of people in their 20s), then that is what your spouse’s image is of you & your friends in Vegas. Since that behavior tends to lead to poor judgment and isn’t the actions of a married man or woman. This can cause resistance for your spouse and may lead to misinterpretation of separate vacations or the “Man Trip”.

When individuals are mature a separate vacations or “Man Trip” will consist of things that shows better judgement (i.e. playing golf, going to the movies, smoke cigars, catching a football game, NASCAR races, camping, or going fishing) this reduce any resistances, misinterpretation, and/or conflict.